tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
