I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
