Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I believe in your delicious
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
