If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
