i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
