OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
