oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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