Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize