no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
