it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
