I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
there's paper in my vomit.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
