mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
