I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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