You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
that's an acceptable place to lick
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
