oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
