even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
