Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
