Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
