apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
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I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
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They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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