you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
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