a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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