it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
