I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
