And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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