Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
