3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
