Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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