ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
