let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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