Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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