thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
