We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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