on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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