are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
