Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
