Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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