just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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