1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
