So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
