Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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