If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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