Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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