I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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