I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
