Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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