yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
