my being single is dangerous.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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