dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
