He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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