worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
