Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
