Plan B is the new Plan A
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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