what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
