btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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