when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
