He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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