Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
