i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ttyl tear gas
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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