therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Please don't give away my fajitas
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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