I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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