That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i drank out of a bidet.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
