i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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