Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
