if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
