You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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