it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
