You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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