He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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