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• (410): View more from Maryland

  So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  This is true but you can't really get fired from college

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars

  (770): View more from Georgia

  wait nvm its a dude

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart

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• (323): View more from California

  Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis

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• (518): View more from New York

  I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt

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