Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
