Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.

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  (301): i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man. http://tfl.nu/s3bb
  Replies (1) Good night (757) Bad night (4322)
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  (714): View more from California

  I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.

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  (714): I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public. http://tfl.nu/k8h3
  Replies (8) Good night (683) Bad night (2111)
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  (415): View more from California

  there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping

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  (415): there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping http://tfl.nu/vx2g
  Replies (27) Good night (2792) Bad night (850)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.

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  (202): God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now. http://tfl.nu/vtz7
  Replies (20) Good night (2819) Bad night (1162)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...

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  (515): So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated... http://tfl.nu/hpsb
  Replies (15) Good night (1259) Bad night (4747)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.

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  (651): News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks. http://tfl.nu/z0bt
  Replies (7) Good night (4893) Bad night (670)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"

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  (517): I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice" http://tfl.nu/f86r
  Replies (39) Good night (1034) Bad night (6278)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.

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  (803): worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week. http://tfl.nu/ib48
  Replies (28) Good night (757) Bad night (3191)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"

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  (317): sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president" http://tfl.nu/8jue
  Replies (21) Good night (6811) Bad night (1564)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...

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  (920): Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around... http://tfl.nu/q37r
  Replies (4) Good night (3167) Bad night (2193)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"

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  (425): They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!" http://tfl.nu/9fc7
  Replies (3) Good night (3520) Bad night (813)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever

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  (306): I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever http://tfl.nu/lhkq
  Replies (22) Good night (1457) Bad night (717)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!

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  (479): I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning! http://tfl.nu/musz
  Replies (12) Good night (1607) Bad night (588)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.

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  (610): The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly. http://tfl.nu/cjbh
  Replies (3) Good night (616) Bad night (294)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.

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  (952): She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar. http://tfl.nu/xh7f
  Replies (2) Good night (636) Bad night (157)

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