I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.