what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
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I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
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For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.