yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.