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• (+61): View more from Australia

  yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.

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• (415): View more from California

  i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.

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• (408): View more from California

  It's chlamydia! Thank God!

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.

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  These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell

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• (813): View more from Florida

  just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.

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  21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies

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• (310): View more from California

  Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.

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